The King and Queen of Ulster, table for two please. …
The wife and I just got back from Ireland and I am here to tell you that it is not all leprechauns and Lucky Charms.
“What’s the deal?” I said to the wife when we landed in Dublin. “I was expecting a leprechaun at the gate handing me a cold pint of frothy Guinness!”
“Dear,” the wife said, “we’ve only been here five minutes. Ireland is so much more than Guinness and leprechauns. It’s the most beautiful shade of green you’ll ever see. It’s castles, and step dancing, and the Cliffs of Mohr. It’s medieval banquets, and sheep farms, and quaint village pubs. …”
“Stop right there! You had me at pubs. Let’s start there. I want to hit at least one quaint village pub a day (waving my arm curbside). Taxi!!!”
Our 12-day tour began in Dublin and traveled clockwise around the entire island. Escorted by an authentic Irish citizen (I was disappointed he wasn’t an actual leprechaun) who shared his immense knowledge of the Emerald Isle in the most delightful Irish brogue. Thirty-three friendly tourmates began our adventure together to learn the history, folklore, art, culture, and music of Ireland.
We learned of the Viking invasion in 795 A.D. (for the Guinness, I’m sure … and the maids that served it). We toured museums full of local and classic art. We went to the Blarney Castel and kissed the Blarney Stone.
“Honey, I asked the wife, “are you going to kiss the Blarney Stone? Because I really don’t think you should.”
“Why not? We’re in Ireland, I HAVE to kiss the Blarney Stone.”
“Legend has it that those who kiss it are granted the gift of gab, and you already have that in spades!”
Mumbling in disgust the wife said, “Where’s my shillelagh when I need it?”
“I think it was confiscated by TSA at the airport. Don’t you remember?”
We boated to an island monastery, took a carriage ride around Ireland’s National Park, and attended a medieval banquet in the great hall of Bunratty Castle where the wife and I were elected the King and Queen of Ulster. I have always suspected I had royal blood. I really wanted to yell, “Off with his head!” when the servant was a little late with the wine, but the Queen of Ulster wouldn’t let me.
The Cliffs of Mohr were a stunning example of nature at its finest and most unforgiving, as huge wave after wave crashed against the shore. It’s a wonder Ireland still exists.
In Northern Ireland, we learned of “the troubles,” the clash between the British who live in Ireland, but refuse to be called Irish, and the Irish who want the British to go back to Great Britain. It would seem like “the troubles” exist everywhere these days.
One of the most amazing elements of our trip were the accommodations. We stayed at historic castles, riverside inns, and a manor house right out of Downton Abbey!
Lounging in a luxurious chaise the wife said, “I could really get use to this. (Addressing me) Nave, bring me a bubbly champagne in a Waterford crystal flute. …”
“Right after I finish swilling this cold pint of frothy Guinness, Milady.” (burp)
Ireland is an absolutely beautiful country with extremely friendly people, and lots of delightful pubs. You’ll be pleased to know we achieved our goal of hitting at least one pub a day!
Raul Ascunce is a freelance columnist for the Sentinel-Tribune. He may be contacted at [email protected].
